This week on the What Are We Doing podcast, I hit record after missing a week and walk straight into chaos. Holidays, weddings, jet setting, whatever. We made it. Episode 215 is here whether the world is ready or not. I start the show by giving thanks to the only man who deserves it, Joe Exotic, and hoping he gets that presidential pardon he keeps talking about. After that, the madness ramps up fast.Soulja Boy is back with another tech empire that exists only in his mind. He is now saying someone offered him one hundred million for a handheld emulator that screams AliExpress from a mile away. He also says it has sixty four gigs of RAM. It does not. I break it all down and explain why Soulja Boy, if you are reading this, call me. We would print money together.Then we look at the White House’s new marketing strategy where they steal Sabrina Carpenter songs to soundtrack ICE raid videos. Sabrina responds. The White House responds. Everyone loses. I offer the White House an easy solution. Use this podcast instead. Leave the pop stars alone. What are we doing.Next up, Epstein news. More photos. More videos. More questions. His island looks worse than my resort in Cabo. There is a dental chair. I pitch the idea of installing a dentistry at my actual resort. It makes more sense than whatever Epstein was doing.Kate Beckinsale shows up on Jimmy Kimmel with a story about her daughter’s boyfriend laying eggs. Jimmy eats it up. I try to figure out if this is proof Hollywood has fully melted or if Kate got bamboozled by the easiest prank in world history.We talk about raccoons breaking into liquor stores, getting blackout drunk, and passing out in the bathroom. I also explain that humans are accidentally domesticating raccoons because we keep telling them they are cute. At this rate, my wife is going to smuggle one home from Mexico.Then Miley Cyrus gets engaged to a drummer named Max. I salute her. I also salute her best era, the 23 era. Say what you want. That look was elite.Joe Rogan enters the chat. He is sponsored by Perplexity now. He cannot go a single conversation without Jamie or AI saving him from Facebook misinformation. He also says Jesus might return as AI. So I use ChatGPT to generate a whole sermon and explain why pastors might want to polish their resumes.Finally, we hit the gambling problem taking over America. Kaushi.com lets you bet on anything. You can bet on the second coming of Jesus. You can bet on weather. You can bet on elections. CNN is now partnered with them. This is where we are. We are turning news into a casino and calling it progress.This episode is packed. Soulja Boy tech. Sabrina Carpenter vs the White House. Epstein’s low budget island. Celebrities laying eggs. Drunk raccoons. Joe Rogan predicting robot Jesus. CNN turning into DraftKings. It is all here.Hit subscribe. Hit like. Hit the hype button if you find it. New Tone Tailors podcast is live. Lessons with Bridget are open now. Give your kid a guitar instead of screen time. Peace out. See you next week.